My number 1
by Herrera
Summary: Stella is in New Orleans and her former colleagues from New York haven't had news about her in a long time. Sid travels to Hawaii, and there he heard something really surprising about Stella...
1. Chapter 1

**This Fic is particularly dedicatd to our friend Lily Moonlight. I'm very grateful for her help with the English version of my other fic "I Can't Say Goodbye". It's a three parts story. I hope you all like it.**

The characters in this fic don't belong to me, but to the CSI NY creators.

**My number 1**

Part 1

_Hawaii, February 13, 2011_

Dr. Sid Hammerback was not a regular at medical congresses. His work and his family absorbed all his time, and in the few holidays that he took, he preferred to keep his mind away from everything that had to do with his profession, so he could recharge his batteries and resume his work with enthusiasm. Although his specialty, forensic pathology, would be rough for many people, he was convinced of its importance and usefulness. Never, throughout his career, had he repented of the choice he made at the time. The man who was the reason why Sid was now inHawaiito participate in one of these events, in fact, had a share of guilt for Sid's decision.

The Forensic Pathology Congress would pay tribute this year to a living legend in the profession, Dr. Alvin Hunt, Sid's teacher and mentor in his early days. He knew that Dr. Hunt, who was 99 years old and lived in retirement inHawaii, would participate in the Congress in the flesh, being a man still lively and agile, both physically and mentally.

The fact that the congress took place in the islands, where the average temperature in February was so nice compared to the string of snow storms they were having inNew York, was another incentive to travel. Mrs Hammerback had loaded the suitcases with swimsuits and summer clothes, rather than anything else.

Sid hadn't yet gotten accustomed to the five-hour time difference fromNew York, and he had risen very early that morning. His wife whispered something in her sleep like it was too early, but Sid was fully awake, so he decided to get dressed and go to enjoy the sun rising over the beautiful beach at the very foot of their balcony. After walking for nearly an hour along the sands, Sid went to the breakfast room reserved for those attending the medical conference. It was something unique, but he wanted to have breakfast before returning to his room and dressing formally to attend the inaugural lecture. He poured himself pineapple juice, and took a plate of bacon and scrambled eggs, and a cup of coffee over to a table by the window. A few minutes later, another man entered the room and after serving himself, he went to Sid's table.

"Good morning, do you mind sharing a table? We seem to be early risers. I'm Dr. Charles Beauvais, fromNew Orleans."

"Good morning to you, too, it's nice to have company. I'm Dr. Sid Hammerback, fromNew York."

The expressive eyes of Dr. Beauvais opened wide, indicating surprise.

"Dr. Hamerback! I have heard many things about you!"

This time it was Sid's turn to be surprised. Raising his eyebrows, he asked

"Really? Good things I hope."

"Yes, of course, of course. You see, I think we share other than just our profession. We also have the same job, only in different cities. I know you're the Chief Medical Examiner in the CSI Lab atNew York, and I have the same occupation inNew Orleans."

Sid knew then how Dr. Beauvais had come to hear things about him. Stella.

Delighted, he asked, "So you work with my dear Stella Bonasera? What a coincidence!"

"That's a fact," D Beauvais exclaimed. "Yes, Stella is the boss. An excellent boss, indeed, we all love her inNew Orleans, and support her. Especially now that she's going through such a delicate time."

Sid tried to hide the surprise he felt. Fortunately, Dr. Beauvais was putting butter on his toast and he couldn't see his expression. Sid didn't know how to continue the conversation so his colleague would tell him more. If he said that he knew nothing about whatever was happening to Stella, the other would conclude that if Stella hadn't said anything to her former colleagues, it was because she didn't want to, and logically, he shouldn't say anything. Finally, Sid decided to continue sounding the other man out.

"Well, I don't know what that special thing Stella has, but it's what makes you love her, right? The worst of her is that she was always so lonely, that sometimes she still finds it difficult to rely on others, even when we are all willing to help her, the same as she does for us."

Sid's words gave confidence to Dr. Beauvais.

"It's exactly like that." He nodded. "When she had to be admitted to hospital, we learned that she wasn't really as good as she was making us believe, which is not surprising, given her level of work. Stress and little sleep were good allies against her in her state."

Sid was now more alert and didn't let the words of the doctor shock him. He pressed his mouth shut, which otherwise would have opened wide in surprise. In her state? Did Dr. Beauvais mean what he thought he meant? Sid made a mental calculation. It was nearly eight months since Stella had gone toNew Orleans. He decided to try to coax a bit more out of his colleague.

"I haven't heard from her in recent days..." (That was true ... in some ways - Stella hadn't been in contact with them since July last year, when she had leftNew York.) "Is she not okay then? I'll try to contact her later, at a reasonable hour. She's almost like a daughter to my wife and I."

"Yes, she's all right, actually. But her doctor was adamant about her having absolute rest, that's why she was admitted a week ago. She had some worrying symptoms such as high blood pressure, and when she complained of headaches, Dr. Roberts didn't wait any longer. He's a great obstetrician and neonatologist, and he has the best department of the State in his hospital, St. Mary. Believe it or not, Sid, she hadn't said a word about the complications in her pregnancy until last week, the very day she had to leave the laboratory in her assistant hands, to go to the hospital. She gave the instruction, almost an order, not to worry about her. But she got excited like a little girl when we went to visit her."

"It's typical of her, not wanting to worry anyone. And she has to stay in the hospital?"

"Yes, I think it's four weeks until her due date, and the doctor wants her there in case the symptoms lead to preeclampsia. It seems the babies could be born at any time, they already weigh enough, but, of course, it would be better if it passes naturally, if there aren't any complications."

Sid's mind processed the information at top speed. Her doctor was Dr. Roberts, she was in the hospital St. Mary. If there were four weeks left until Stella's due date, that would mean... she was eight months pregnant, so when she leftNew York, she was already pregnant. And, perhaps, she didn't know it then. Oh God, what a mess. Sid was still assimilating the last words of his colleague fromNew Orleans. The babies weigh enough... Babies? Oh God, oh God! Sid almost choked with the last sip of his coffee. He rose from the table, reaching out his hand to Dr. Beauvais.

"If you'll excuse me, it was a great pleasure talking with you, but I must go and change for the inaugural conference. I hope we can share more moments."

"Ditto, Dr. Hammerback. Nice to have met you," Dr Beauvais said, shaking his hand vigorously.

Sid walked to the elevator and into his room. His wife had just left the shower and still wrapped in her bathrobe, was consulting the activities program for accompanying partners of the delegates. When she saw Sid, she noticed the strange face he had.

"Honey, what's up? You look like you've seen a ghost..."

Sid sat on the bed. What should he do now? Meddling in the lives of two of the people he appreciated the most in the world? Because it would be an intrusion, that was certain. If Stella had said nothing to Mac it was because she didn't want him to know. Sid had taken for granted that Mac was the father of that baby... or babies, apparently! But what if he wasn't? And why had Stella not said anything, whether or not he was the father? Weren't they the best of friends? True that Stella's departure toNew Orleanswas a strange event... Until the last moment Sid had hoped that Mac declared his opposition, and requested Stella to stay, but he didn't. Did Stella expect that? Sid would have guessed so, but in those last months the relationship between them seemed to have become odd. Now Sid guessed why. If they had gone up to the next level in their relationship and for some reason they had argued... Or if it wasn't Mac who Stella had begun a relationship with, Mac probably would have taken it very bad. But what did he expect? Stella being always available to him, but delaying indefinitely a commitment further than just friendship? Oh, God, Sid thought again. What a complicated couple. Well, and now… What to do?

Mrs Hammerback was getting really scared. Sid continued to sit on the bed, gazing into space...

"Sid, honey, what is it?"

With a sigh, Sid told her everything. What he knew, what he imagined... His wife sat beside him. She also loved Mac, and even more Stella.

"You have to tell Mac, you have to, Sid. They are losing a precious time, something that they should be sharing... Probably because of a misunderstanding, a stubbornness... This is nonsense. Stella shouldn't be alone. She's probably feeling more vulnerable and frightened than ever. All we women do in our first pregnancy, and she's alone, with complications, and doubly! Oh poor Stella..."

"I just hope it's double, not triple or..." Sid broke off and they both smiled. Sid looked at his watch. It was 8.30. Mentally, he calculated what time it should be inNew York. Five hours more... so it was 13.30, a good time. Mac may be on a lunch break. Without more thought, he decided to send Mac a text message. Sid didn't want to talk to him, it would be too embarrassing.

Sid took his cell phone and began to write, carefully thinking the words.

_Mac, I learned that Stella is in the hospital St. Mary's, NO. Her doctor is Dr. Roberts. I would go there if I were you. Sid_

He sent the message and turned off his phone. He knew that Mac's first reaction would be to call him back, asking for more explanations, but he didn't want to be the person to tell him he was going to be a father... Maybe... Or maybe not.


	2. Chapter 2

**This is a fic of "firsts". My first dedicated fic (thank you again, Lily) and it's also the first time I publish a story in English, before than the Spanish original text. Wow... I've become an international writer now! **

The characters in this fic don't belong to me, but to the CSI NY creators.

**My number 1**

**Part 2**

_New York, February 13, 2011_

Mac Taylor was pleased. Lindsay and he had spent an entire morning in the Criminal Court, waiting to testify in a murder trial, but their testimony had been so strong and the evidence so conclusive that the jury had taken only fifteen minutes to agree a verdict of guilty. Another rat off the streets for the rest of his life. Days like this made their profession worthwhile, despite everything. Long hours of work to resolve cases, almost everything set aside to discover and bring out the truth... giving up even, in his case, a normal personal life...

He didn't want to think about it. No, he didn't. Because not so long ago, he had even thought he could get it. He had it at his fingertips. Pairing off, having someone to share everything, all the good and the bad things that life could provide... and he, and he alone, broke it with his narrowness, his stubbornness... his jealousy. Idiot, he told himself every time he thought about it.

Now, walking down the snowy sidewalk, he realized he was hungry. He smiled to Lindsay as she walked beside him.

"How about I invite you to have lunch? After that, we can go home, there's nothing pending in the Lab. I talked to Danny during the last break and we haven't any new cases, everything is under control. It looks the bad weather has kept the murderers at home."

"Good idea, now that you mention it, I could use something to eat." Lindsay smiled. "Seeing a low-life condemned always makes me want to celebrate."

They entered a small café, a cozy and warm place on such a cold day. They sat at a table near the Wall, Lindsay having to withdraw from her chair a teen magazine that someone had forgotten. They consulted the short menu on the table and gave their order when the waitress came.

During the wait, Lindsay directed her attention to the magazine, which had been left open on the table by the double center page. In pink letters and with a profusion of red hearts, the headline said: "Valentine's Special: Who is the love of your life?"

Lindsay laughed. "Listen, Mac, according to this, responding to a test with..." She consulted the article until the end. "With only five questions, you can know who the love of your life is, if you have one." Mac raised his eyebrows in disbelief, with a half smile on his face as Lindsay continued, "First question: Who is the number 1 on your phone's speed dial?" She laughed heartily. "Wow, what a disappointment for Danny, if this test is infallible, like they say, and your number 1 is the love of your life, mine happens to be Lucy's doctor... I put him there when I was so scared because she was sick... you know, when the chicken pox thing... and then I never changed it after."

Mac's smile faded in his mouth, and in his eyes. His number 1 was still Stella. Even if they hadn't spoken in exactly... seven months and twenty days, Stella was his number 1, and neither dropping her number, or moving it from that place had crossed his mind.

Lindsay was still reading. "Second question: Who was your number 1 last Valentine's? Wow, a whole year, that's the definitive sign of love, according to this test. Of course, in a teenager's life, a year's got to be an eternity."

Mac kept thinking, without even paying attention to the other three questions. Last year and for nearly ten years Stella had been his number 1. And until now, when it was too late, he hadn't realized that this was one of the signs that pointed out that she was the love of his life, now confirmed by a foolish teen magazine.

When they finished their lunch, Lindsay said goodbye. She took a taxi to pick up Lucy from daycare and enjoy the rest of the day with her. Mac decided to walk, despite the cold weather.

Suddenly, he felt the gentle hum of his phone indicating an incoming message. "No," he thought, "Not a new case at this time, no." He looked at the screen and smiled seeing the identification of the sender, Sid. Was he already so bored inHawaiithat he was sending messages? He started to read, smiling, but the smile froze on his lips faster than the snow on the streets. He read the text a second time, hoping to have misunderstood.

_Mac, I learned that Stella is in the hospital St. Mary's, NO. Her doctor is Dr. Roberts. I would go there if I were you. Sid_

He immediately pushed the call button to the number from which the message came, but he only reached Sid's voicemail. "Damn it, Sid! Don't do this to me!" Mac muttered through his clenched teeth. He called again, but it was clear that Sid had his phone disconnected.

He had stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and people were tripping over him, everyone aware of the snow on the ground, trying not to slip.

Mac stopped the first taxi he saw and went home. On the way, he called Danny and put him in charge of the Lab for the coming days because he had to leave. Personal affairs. He also called Chief Sinclair and left a message with his secretary, as Sinclair wasn't at his desk. Better. He said he was taking a few days off for personal matters. Nothing serious. He hoped that Sinclair had no objection, and if he did, Mac didn't care. With the amount of not taken holidays he had, he could spend several months off work, if he wanted to claim them. His mind went back to Sid's message. Stella in the hospital? Had she been wounded while working a case? Was she sick?

He felt as if his head was going to explode while he prepared a bag with the basics to spend a few days away. It took him only a few minutes before he was in another taxi, heading to the airport. Once there he'd see how he could reach New Orleans, he hadn't lost time booking a ticket in advance.

He was lucky and found a last minute place on the plane about to leave. In fact he was admitted because he only had hand luggage, as the check-in was already closed and they were making the last call for passengers. When he sat on his place, and fastened his seatbelt before the plane started taxiing down the runway he could, at least, breathe deeply and try to calm down.

Three and a half hours later, his plane landed smoothly at the Louis Armstrong International Airport in New Orleans. Mac consulted in the hall markers the local time. It was nearly nine o'clock at night, one hour behind New York time. He couldn't hide his impatience as he joined the long line for a taxi. Finally, it was his turn and he asked the driver to take him to St. Mary Hospital. Mac didn't know the address, but the driver knew. He reported that it would last a half hour journey, with the normal traffic at that hour. Mac tried to relax a bit before having to face... What? How would Stella be? Was her life in danger? He tried to calm down, but his mind was a whirl of questions. He told himself that if whatever had happened to Stella was very serious, he would have been warned, but he also remembered immediately the last words that Stella and he had exchanged. It was so harsh, what he had said to her... It ended with a "_If you go now, I don't want to know anything more about you_". He had regretted his words at the same time of saying them. But Stella hadn't given him time to rectify the situation. She had left New York, and left him. And he hadn't heard from her since.

_TBC..._


	3. Chapter 3

**And here is the final part of this little story. I hope you like it.**

**I have to mention again that if I'm posting this is thanks to Lily Moonlight and the help she offered me with the English versions, also in this fic, "her" fic.**

The characters in this fic don't belong to me, but to the CSI NY creators.

**My number 1**

**Part 3**

_New Orleans, February 14, 2011_

The wall clock showed the change of day. Midnight had passed, it was February 14. Valentine's Day, Mac thought with a sigh. It was just a year ago that his relationship with Stella had surpassed mere friendship and they had become lovers. They had been so discreet that Mac had thought that even their closest colleagues hadn't noticed.

He and Stella had had four months and nine days of complete happiness, and one day, the last, of complete despair. That day had been the worst of his life along with the day he had lost Claire. He had nothing to reproach himself for in Claire's case, he hadn't any guilt, but with Stella...

He had gone crazy, there was no other explanation. He had found out about Adam's one night stand with Stella, and he had gone crazy. Jealousy, rage, he didn't know what had gone through his mind. What claim did he have to Stella, if they weren't together at that time? Couldn't Stella have felt the same about him being with Aubrey, with Peyton...? It was all part of the past, then why had he been hopping mad?

Recalling that day, Mac knew had been a very difficult week at the Lab, he had barely slept in days, and to top it all, Stella had received the offer to head the CSI Laboratory in New Orleans. She hadn't even taken it seriously, but when Mac had reproached her about the affair with a subordinate, she said that if he was going to behave that way, it might be better for her to leave, take the good offer she had received and be away from subordinates with whom she had slept and from bosses she had been sleeping with too. That last had finished Mac's self-control and before realizing what he was doing, he had said that damn sentence which even now, was pounding in his head: "_If you go now, I don't want to know anything more about you_."

When he had returned to his apartment, Stella had taken everything she had been bringing to Mac's house in those few months: nightgown, toiletries, clothes, shoes, underwear... There had been nothing left.

Trying to rid his mind of those painful memories, Mac looked at Stella now, in the semi-darkness of the room. She was so beautiful, peacefully asleep, her curls framing her face now more rounded. Her neck was still slender and Mac realised how much he had missed kissing her there, and burying his face in the curve of her shoulder. Another curve had now become more evident, even under the bedcovers. The curve of a belly that carried two babies almost ready to be born. Stella was the real picture of life.

Earlier that day, when he had reached the main lobby in the hospital, he had been directed to the fourth floor. There, the night nurse had given him information after checking Stella's record and seeing that he was listed as Stella's next of kin, and that he was the father of her babies.

Mac had struggled to keep his composure and not jump with the shock. Now, almost three hours later, he still couldn't stop smiling through the misunderstanding.

The nurse had consulted Stella's history and had checked Mac's identity before allowing him to see her. She had initially looked at him with a bit of reproach. No doubt wondering where had this guy been all the week since Stella had been admitted, alone. Although, Mac smiled to himself wryly, she had realized that he was carrying a travel bag and when she looked at his identity card and discovered he had come from New York, appeared to have forgiven him a bit. Well, if he had been out of town...

"So...," she had said. "You are Detective MacTaylor... yes. You can see Miss Bonasera in just a moment. You're listed as her next of kin..." She had continued reading the file and found Mac's name again. "Ah, and you're the father too!"

Mac had been surprised.

"No, I'm ..." He had thought how he could identify himself. He couldn't say the husband, or the fiancé, because they weren't even engaged... "I'm her boyfriend."

The nurse had laughed seeing his face.

"Yes, I understand, Miss Bonasera's boyfriend... I mean the father of the babies she's carrying"

Mac had dropped his bag. As he bent to pick it up he could hide the surprise on his face to the inquiring nurse. But he had been pale and it had taken a moment before he could catch his breath and ask, "How is she? I was concerned she'd had to be admitted."

"She's okay, don't worry. With rest and controlled blood pressure, she'll be fine. She needed to rest and sleep. Right now you will find her asleep and she probably won't wake up until tomorrow. We gave her a low medication to help her to sleep. But you can see her if you want to. Dr. Roberts is on duty today, and beforemidnighthe will make his rounds. When he arrives I'll let you know so you can talk to him. Now, follow me, please."

Mac had followed her into Stella's room. Seeing that Stella was sleeping peacefully she had left him there, closing the door behind her. He had approached and even in the dim light he had been able to see Stella clearly, her beautiful face, her enormous belly. Babies, the nurse had said… my God, he had thought, he was the father of the babies Stella was carrying.

He had pulled a chair to the bed and sat down nearby. He hadn't dared to touch her, but he was dying to do it. Stella had carried their babies for more than seven months without telling him... He had been tempted to get angry. He was the father, God, he should have known! They were his, too! Then he had thought about what he had said...

_"I don't want to know anything more about you."_

Tears had streamed down his face and he hadn't even bothered to clean them. What a fool he had been, what an idiot. He had missed the best part of this whole matter, the discovery that they would be parents, the first visit to the doctor, the first ultrasound, the gradual change in Stella's body until reaching her actual condition...Idiot! he had said to himself.

He didn't know how long he had been there when the nurse had opened the door, and quietly introduced Mac to Dr. Roberts. The doctor had glanced at Stella, and asked the nurse if there was any news. She had said there wasn't and had left. Dr. Roberts had asked Mac to go out of the room, so they could speak in a normal tone. He had reported to Mac the reason for Stella's admission, and that, at the moment, the rest had been effective, and probably her high blood pressure in the previous week was due to stress. Now it all was under control. Stella was really well, but she would have to rest until the time of delivery.

The doctor had continued his round while Mac returned to the room. He had told the nurse he was spending the night there and she had nodded, her estimation of Mac clearly going up instantly. Well, at least he was going to compensate her for his absence during the last week.

And so here he was, sitting by the bed of the love of his life, the number 1 on his speed dial. He reached over and gently took hold of one of Stella's hands. It was warm, as soft as ever. Suddenly, he began to speak, his voice low but firm.

"You're my number 1, Stella. Do you know what that means? Well, today I discovered that in a test, in a magazine for teenagers. It means that you're the love of my life. That's right. Who is number 1 on your speed dial on the phone, especially if that "who" has been there for a year... and you've been there for almost ten... that person is the love of your life." He sighed deeply. "And, joking aside, I've always known it, but what I didn't know is how much of a coward and a stupid man I could be. But I've realized it now…" Again, he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "How much time have I lost, Stella! Can you ever forgive me? Can you let me share your life and our children's?" He smiled as he said that. "Our children… I still can't believe it, even with the evidence before my eyes... Our children… I'm sorry, honey, for saying what I said. I'm so sorry, because it wasn't even true, I don't know what came over me. How could I not want to hear from you? I want to know everything about you, I want to share my life with you... I love you, Stella, I have always loved you and I always will."

He leant his forehead on the edge of the bed, still holding Stella's hand in his. He didn't know how much time had passed, when, suddenly, a soft voice came to comfort his troubled soul. Mac thought that maybe he was dreaming, but he wasn't...

Because Stella, with a deep sigh murmured, "You're also my number 1, Mac. You always have been and you will always be, because you are the love of my life. The tests in teen magazines never lie."

Mac looked at her, and she half opened her eyes and smiled lazily before closing them. Mac thought she was asleep again, but he heard her say "Take off your shoes and come and lie down here with all your girls, Mac..."

Mac didn't think twice. He lay down beside her, resting his face in the crook of her neck as he had so longed to do again, his hand on her belly.

"Two girls, then?" Mac asked after a while, almost asleep himself.

"Identical," Stella mumbled. "Get ready, daddy!"

The nurse found them like this in her last round before ending her night shift. She smiled widely and closed the door. It was all well. Perfectly well. A perfect start to Valentine's Day!

**_The End._**

**Thank you all for reading!**


End file.
